Ed and the Smurf
by Shinigamispit
Summary: AU fic. Ed is in his last year of high school and winds up in some pretty strange situations.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist

Warnings: This story contains Yaoi, which means male x male relationships. If you are not comfortable with that then close the window or tab on your browser.

This has to be one of my favorite stories. I had a fight with trying to find a title for it or it would have been posted a long time ago. Hope everyone enjoys it and feel free to review afterword.

Ed and the Smurf chapter 1

"Mr. Elric, What do you think you are doing?"

Edward was shocked by the loud tone that rang through the room waking him from his nap. He raised his head to see one ticked Mustang sensei glaring at him.

"Sorry Sir." Edward was up late again last night finishing his homework after he went out to the dance club. He always went out and had fun but kept his grades up too. He had to keep up his grades so his brother wouldn't get on to him about it. He was supposed to be the older brother so why is he the one getting scolded.

"Edward you know the routine." Mustang pointed to the wall then started folding a piece of newspaper.

Ed got up and went over to the desk snatching the origami hat out of Mustangs hand then walking over to the wall placing the hat upon his head. He hated this class and wished he didn't have to take it. He was normally Mustang's favorite to pick on, he found himself standing under the wall under the sign that read 'I have disrupted the class.' at least every other day. He felt it really did him no justice he never disrupted class just never stayed awake it was the end of the day and he just needed a nap.

Finally the bell rang for the end of class he dropped the hat back on the desk as he walked out.

"Edward, "

Ed looked over his shoulder at his teacher.

"Try to get into bed earlier on Sunday, so you will be awake for the quiz Monday."

"Yeah, yeah I will." Ed waved and strode out the door. He was going to meet his friend Ling before he went to the dojo to work. He had to find him quick he had less than 30 minutes to get to work.

"Hey Ed."

Ed had not a chance, he was jumped on and the sudden weight on his back sent them toppling forward. The lanky Asian boy was now flattening Ed into the grass.

"Damnit Ling get the hell off me."

Ling stumbled to his feet mumbling an apology.

Ed got up on his feet and shot Ling a glare. "Your party still on for tonight?"

"Hell yeah, you going to show this time? Last month you were MIA"

"I showed up at your last one idiot." It had been a over a month ago since his last party.

"I didn't see you there."

"Oh, yeah I was there just not inside the house if you get what I mean." Ed winked.

"Wha no way who was it this time?"

"That pretty blonde chick you know with the long hair and blue eyes."

"Oh, that Winry chick, dude she's like 15! That's statutory rape man, be careful you'll wind up in jail."

"Why did you invite her then?"

"I didn't, your brother did he said he wanted a couple girls there his age I said he could only bring one."

"Dammit man. Well I'll see you later; I need to get to work." He plopped into the driver's seat and cranked the car and speed off to the Dojo.

Work that night had been pretty exhausting but he had gotten through it. He arrived at home to an empty house. He went straight and took a shower. The warm water felt great on his now aching muscles he stood in the shower till the water became cool. He dried off then walked into his room to find something to wear. He found the pants he wanted to wear they were tight in the butt and loose in the legs, the shirt he found was a stretchy black shirt that showed off his muscles the bottom left had a red tribal rose on it. He wore his everyday black boots and lastly braided his hair. He rummaged through the fridge when done there was a note on the table:

Brother,

Went on to Lings find me when you get there.

Al

He drank the last of the orange juice from the fridge and went on to walk to Lings. He felt better walking there than driving; he did not like driving after he had a drink. They were miles away from town in a sorta back woods location. Ling was their closest neighbor living only 2 miles down the road they had been friends for the past decade after him and his brother started living with their father. Their father was hardly home now that they could pretty much take care of themselves he was traveling the world in search of something unknown, the last time he was home was the beginning of this school year. It was now 2 weeks till the end of the school year. The sounds from Ling's were getting more obvious with each step he recognized many of the cars from their acquaintances from school.

He wondered into the house the living room was being used as the dance floor all the furniture had been moved into the den. He finally found Ling his brother and attached to his brother's arm was none other than his fling from Ling's last party.

"I'm here now Al," he received a nod from Al

"Ed this is my girlfriend Winry, Winry this is my brother Ed."

"Nice to meet you." He nodded at the girl "Hey Ling I got some new music I wanna load it into the computer will you help?"

"Yeah this way." Ling went and unlocked the storage under the stair case and picked up his laptop.

Ed could have just gotten the key from Ling but he didn't feel like hanging out with her so he had successfully dragged Ling away from them. "Does Al know about what happened at the last party?" the storage cupboard under the stairs was rather spacious and much quieter which kept them from yelling in the small space.

"If he does he's not said anything about it, hell they just reappeared a little while ago they had been missing for an hour or so."

This was nothing new Ed had taught Al everything he knew so it was no surprise that he had gone missing for a while. They reentered the makeshift dance floor. Ed was immediately swept away into the dance floor.

The rest of the night went too quickly he had a few drinks and was holding a good buzz now as he danced on the floor. The lights went out completely, he resumed dancing the newer people stopped and left the floor to the ones that knew that they always had a black out before the party ended. They were now free to dance with anyone without being watched by others. It was sweet freedom to do as you wished with whoever was closest.

He felt someone press themselves against his back the persons hand traveled to his hips they swung his hips to the fast beat of the music. A hot breath grazed his ear followed by a slight nip on Ed's neck. He moaned from the touch. The figure drew closer to his back and slid their leg in between Ed's. He now knew his partner was a man by the large erection that was pressed against him. Ed didn't stop dancing he on occasion did take a man to bed and this one had size enough to please him. The man's left hand lowered to his groin rubbing his trapped erection the right hand slid under his shirt up teasing Ed's right nipple.

Ed brought his hands up into the man's hair it was soft and short. He lightly pulled at the locks extracting a deep moan. Every action has a reaction. The stranger's hand left the nipple and moved lower to the button on Ed's pants. It was undone quickly and the zipper slid down. Ed's erection was freed, he never bothered wearing underpants to parties he never had his clothes on by the end anyway. Ed was now being expertly pumped by a hand larger than his own. He wanted this man for the rest of the night. He was completely focused on his pleasure. The large hand pumped him vigorously sending him over the edge his seed spilling into the darkness in-front of them.

The mental images of what they could be doing were going around in Ed's head. He quickly turned around and threw his arms around the man capturing his lips in a fierce kiss. The kiss was broken too soon the man was pushing him back. Ed grabbed his cloth covered arm and dragged the man upstairs. He would not let the man give him a no for an answer.

Well that's all for this chapter I hope to have the next one up soon. Reviews are always appreciated so feel free to leave one.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Hey I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, wish I did but wishes are like fingers everyone has at least a handful of them.

Warnings: This story contains Yaoi, which means male on male action. If you are not comfortable with that then close the window or tab on your browser. This chapter is rated nc-17 so beware.

This chapter has been redone from the original version so it has taken a bit longer than I liked but it I still am not completely happy with this chapter. This fic is AU as well as OOC sorry about that everyone.

The man abruptly stopped. Ed pulled harder on the larger man "Hurry up."

Ed never looked back after that. They went into Ling's bedroom thru the window then onto the roof and into another window higher up than the bedroom.

The place was the long forgotten attic, the only light in the room was the moonlight that flooded in the single window. It was mostly bare with the exception of a pallet of blankets on the floor almost completely hidden by the shadows.

The stranger was looking at Ed. Ed took the chance to finally take in the sight infront of him. The man was tall, dressed in a black tight fitting long sleeved shirt and his baggy pants were black as well. His blue hair shone in the moonlight, his eyes were covered by dark blue glasses his lips were swollen from their kiss earlier. He once again claimed those lips for his.

Leaning back Ed pulled the man on top of him. "I want you NOW."

He earned a smirk from the man. He watched the man take off his sleeves and tie them together then tying them over Ed's eyes.

"Hey!" Ed protested.

The man caught Ed's lips in a heated kiss silencing the blond. Ed heard the rustling of fabric being discarded. He felt the stranger's hands move up his inner thighs grazing over his still open fly and under Ed's shirt; the body lightly touching the now forming erection. Ed leaned up assisting in the process of discarded his shirt. The light contact of skin on skin was immense as the man's skin felt as if it was on fire; his mouth sucked lightly on a nipple while a hand teased the other.

"Mmm more…"

He was now ghosting a hand over Ed's erection. A wet sensation slowly engulfed Ed; he felt the tongue slide around the head slowly something hard was inserted into his urethra. It was such a strange sensation he felt it again along the underside of his shaft. He thrust into the mouth surrounding him. The thrusting helped the man rid him of his pants. The hot mouth was taken away replaced with a cold wetness that was being slathered on him. He felt the stranger move onto his stomach and then slide slowly down onto Ed's erection.

The man moved his hips slowly at first then increasing the speed till he leveled out. Ed took the hips of the one on top of him and slammed them down to his hilt then up again the man moaned loader with each thrust.

Ed picked up the pace a little making sure to hit the man's sweet spot with each thrust. Without warning the man came onto Ed's stomach. The tightening on Edward's erection sent him into his climax. The man leaned down and kissed Ed as he climbed off top of him.

His hands now roved over Ed's body touching so quickly that it was making his head spin. The alcohol he had consumed earlier was full force in his system and was up for anything now. He soon felt something cool pressed into his rear entrance. This wasn't Ed's first experience with a man but it had been quite some time. The single digit was inserted into him reaching as deep as the long fingers could go slowly plunging then withdrawing again. The first finger was joined by one more they spread inside of him widening the space soon receiving another finger.

"Yes" Ed's was seeing stars and nothing mattered now all he could think of was the man's fingers inside of him. He was repeatedly struck in the place then at the most inappropriate time the fingers disappeared. He felt the man at his entrance then he slowly pushed inside. The man pushed in till he was at the hilt his size was causing Ed quite a bit of discomfort. He stopped and waited for some signal, after what had seemed like an eternity the man moved.

"Wait." A pain shot up Ed's back he had felt like he was about to be ripped in two.

The pain slowly subsided. Ed felt he would be able to handle the man's size "Now."

The man pulled almost all the way out slowly then pushed back in producing a moan from Edward. It was a good sign he repeated the process again another moan from Ed he picked up the pace slowly. After a few thrusts he found Edwards sweet spot. The sounds from downstairs had long since ceased making the moans coming from them resonate through the attic. Edward found his own voice quite erotic when mixed with the others low moans. The sensations sent Edward over the top, without any warning he came on their stomachs just moments before passing out. The stranger thrust into Ed a few more times and finished inside Ed's limp body.

Okay everyone it would be great if you would review. Tell me if you liked it or if it sucked whichever.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me and I sure as hell do not make any money off of it.

Warning: yeah it contains Yaoi don't like don't read.

Okay well here's the next chapter…

The daylight was approaching on the horizon and light was flooding into the open window. Ed slept so peacefully until he heard his phone ring. He could tell by the ringtone it was Ling he ignored it. It finally stopped then started again this time it was Al, he stared at the phone and seen a piece of paper inside of it. The phone shut up momentarily he snatched it noticing his whole hand was blue.

"What the hell?" He examined the blue digits for a moment remembering the shade of his mystery man's hair. Ed figured it was from whatever he put on his hair to make it blue. He finally opened the paper and read it.

"Well at least I got his number now."__ he had passed out without getting the guys number. He opened up the phone 23 missed calls all from Al and Ling.

'_Might as well get dressed_' He tried to set up and a shooting pain went down his lower body. Flopping lifelessly on the pallet of blankets again he opened the phone and texted the number that he saved in his phone

_**Thanks for the great night hope you are feeling better than I do. Can we meet again?**_

Message sent.

The phone was ringing again this time Ling. Ed pressed the green button and put it to his ear.

"Fucking A Ed where are you."

"Ungh… you're too noisy this early in the morning."

"Morning my ass it's damn 3 in the afternoon."

"Wha?" Ed's eyes went wide.

"Yeah and Al's completely pissed so don't answer his calls right now but where the hell are you?"

"I'm hiding"

"No shit I already guessed that but I need to find you before Al does or you won't be able to walk till Monday."

Ed laughed "I can't walk already so there is no way in hell I can even get up."

"What the hell happened to you?"

"Don't think you really want to know. I'm going back to sleep for a bit." He flipped the phone closed silencing the screaming Asian. He picked up the phone again and called the work to tell them he wouldn't be able to come in tonight. He checked his message inbox, 7 new messages.

3 from Ling asking him where he was Al was on the rampage, 3 from Al they all stated they were going to kill him and the one he was looking for.

_**I can only meet you on Friday and Saturday nights. Hope you feel better by then. **_

He shut off his phone and went back to sleep.

He woke up with the urge to relive his bladder it was already night again. He tried to move again, the pain shot completely though his body. It was a duller pain than before but he had to get up and get home before he really was killed by his little brother. He glanced at his phone then reached to turn it on, he checked the date

"Oh hell it's already Sunday and I still have homework to do." He crawled on his hands and knees to the window and glanced out Ling's car was there so he would be able to bum a ride home but how was he going to get off the roof when he could barely move. He crawled to the edge of the roof and went down the lattice he fell halfway down the lattice landing with a thump on the ground. When he tried to stand and walk he collapsed in a pile on the ground. He managed to kneel and relive his bladder in the nearest bush then continued to crawl to the front steps once there he sat down and called the man inside the house.

"About time you called we thought you had died. We already formed a search party and were about to leave to find you."

"Can you help me get home?" Ed leaned his shoulder against the stair railing.

"Yeah, where are you?"

"Your front steps." Ed heard Ling run through the house then the slam of the screen door hitting the wall. Ed turned his head slightly every muscle in his body hurt.

"Damn, where have you been this time?"

"Hiding and sleeping."

"Why didn't you call earlier?"

"I have been passed out since I talked to you last." His phone started going off with all the missed messages, thing only received messages when it really felt like it.

"Sure you have, and why do you look like you have been screwing a smurf?"

"Not too sure but can we go?"

"Yeah" Ling started toward the yellow sports car.

Ed attempted to stand again but found himself on the ground. He began to crawl again. Ling gave him a confused look. "Walking long?"

Ed shot him a glare and continued on his knees.

Ling walked up and forcedly slung Ed over his shoulder. "I can get there on my own! Put me down!"

He found himself plopped into the passenger side seat of the car.

"You were going too slow."

The car sped the two miles to Ed's. Ling snatched Ed out of the seat bridal style and opened the door to the house. They sped past Al and up into the bathroom.

"What are you doing?"

"You smell; you're muddy and blue; you need a bath." Ling sat him on the edge of the tub; Ed leaned over on the tub wall. Ling then started the water after making sure his friend wouldn't collapse.

Al stormed through the door and next thing Ed knew he had been knocked to the floor and an angry Al was on top of him. He felt the punches continue landing on his face. "You bastard!" another punch same side "you got Winry…" another to the other side of his face "pregnant!"

Ed tasted the blood in his mouth and heard Ling pleading with Al to stop. He blacked out when the next punch landed.


	4. Chapter 4

Okay after reading the first 3 chapters I think the disclaimer has sunk in by now.

He woke up hearing a beep. His eyes opened slowly, the unfamiliar ceiling told him he defiantly wasn't at home or at Lings. He turned his head sideways in the direction of the beep he seen the monitor that beeped with every beat of his heart. Beside that was a bag on a tall holder dripping slowly. The bed table had flower's on it he counted, there were 13, 2 red, 3 yellow, 3 pink, 3 white and one black rose aside a dark blue rose. The rose color was the same as the hair of the one he had spent the night with. He smiled at the thought of it wonder who it was from. He needed water to wash the stickiness from his mouth. He pressed the call button on the bed rail and was relieved that he didn't feel pain. Several minutes later the nurse appeared.

"Oh that's great you are awake. We will get most of that stuff off of you soon just be patient okay. Is there anything you need now?"

Ed pointed toward the bottle of water sitting on his stand. She opened it stuck a straw in it then placed the straw to Ed's mouth; he drank it down. "Thank you can I see the card on the flowers." His voice was very rough.

"They are quite pretty and I have never seen an arrangement like that before. Well I will be back to get the monitors off you in a bit." She handed the card to him.

"What day is it?"

"It is Thursday."

Ed nodded to her and opened the card

_**Hope you are alright and get well soon**_

It was the same writing as the piece of paper that was stuck in his phone. He really wanted the man now but how had he known he was in the hospital. It was almost an hour when the doctor came and talked to him; he was finally free from the monitors.

He finally walked the first time in almost 6 days. He walked toward the bathroom and caught a little bit of movement inside. He turned on the light to be staring at himself in the mirror his face was dotted with purple and yellow marks there was three cuts on this left cheek it just reminded him of who did this to him. The class ring he himself bought Al had always had a sharp place on it and now he received wounds from the precious gift he gave his brother just a couple months earlier.

"Mr. Elric?" The doctor was behind him now. "I think it will be okay to discharge you."

"Thank you." It was going to be difficult to go home now. The last word's he heard from Al's mouth was that his girlfriend was pregnant. Ed looked at the mirror again. Will he be able to go back home now that Al was totally upset at him and what was he going to do about the girl.

He soon found himself dressing to leave, it was the first time he had gotten to see all the bruises from his night of ecstasy he really did look as if he had been beaten. Oh well at least they were covered his face was a different situation. He was guessing it was Ling that left him a clean change of clothes. Sometimes that guy was a mind reader. He was finally discharged a little before 12 pm. He needed to pick up his medicine from the pharmacy and the school was pretty close to the pharmacy and he did need to turn in his doctor's note.

By the time he got there it was after 2. The receptionist gave him a strange look here he was looking pretty beat up but was carrying around a vase of roses. They took the note and dismissed him. He went to all his classes to try to gather all his missed assignments, again many strange looks from everyone. Now was the class he dreaded but was also excited to go see since Ling would be totally surprised to see him. He quietly knocked on the door.

"Enter."

He sheepishly opened the door hiding behind the flowers. He sat them down on one of the empty front row seats.

Ling jumped up. "Hey you should be at the hospital, now turn around and get your ass out."

He shoved the discharge papers in front of Ling "Woke up this morning got discharged. I came to get the rest of my home work assignments and get a ride home from you." There was only 5 more minutes left of class. "Can I get my assignments Mustang Sensei?"

The sensei gave him a concerned look which Ed had never seen. He was normally the indifferent teacher with the personality of a rock. He took his eyes off of Ed and wrote quickly scribbling down the past assignments then fished out a few papers then handed the bundle to him. "Don't forget to study for your exams next week."

The bell rang Ed started out the door. "Ed." Ling was standing there against the sensei's desk.

"Ling come on I want to go home and go to bed." Ed turned to leave again and abruptly ran into someone; he landed with his butt on the floor. He looked up to see Mustang Sensei stepping out of the door in front of him quietly shutting it.

"What the hell? Let's go Ling."

Ed glared at Ling then at the Sensei in front of him.

"Look he talked to Al for me and even went with me to get your things from the house."

"What are you doing with my stuff?"Ed was mad now he was charging at his friend full speed.

"Ed, Stop!" the tone was one he knew well out of instinct he grabbed the origami hat off the desk.

"It's best if you stayed away from Al for a bit so I moved your things to my house for now and when this all blows over then you can go back and live with Al."

Ed stared at the paper hat that was in his hands. "Fine whatever." He was tired and didn't care right now.

Okay review if you can.


	5. Chapter 5

same old disclaimer, blah blah blah ya get the point.

So sorry about the super late updates, I hate holidays, yeah I made 2 holiday fics but I absolutely despise every holiday, except Halloween that's pretty cool. We have also had a bunch of snow so I had been snowed in for several days. Okay enough rambling.

Futanari- I used this word instead of the traditional word, hermaphrodite, honestly I think it just sounds a little better.

Ed and the Smurf chapter 5

Ed arrived at Ling's place he sat down at the coffee table. Taking out his books he dove into his studies. Ling sat opposite him with his books scattered all over the table. The layer of books to his left was almost never there since that spot always belonged to Al, who now was absent from their routine study group.

The phone rang in the next room Ling picked up the receiver in the kitchen.

"Hello… Oh hey… Yeah… look that's fine with me but no fighting I'm going to make a call I will call you back."

A moment went by he had only knew half the conversation but he knew it had been Al.

"Hey can you stop by they want to talk and I'm not up for breaking up another fight…Yeah please."

Another moment went by.

"Hey it's me can you give us about 30 minutes… Okay we'll see you then."

Ling went back to his studies.

"Al coming over?"

"Yeah he said he wasn't going to hit you this time just talk. I called my guardian and he's going to come over and make sure he doesn't." Ed had never seen Ling's guardian, Ling had lived alone for as long as Ed had known him. His family was supposed to be some sort of rich family with lots of kids so they never bothered Ling.

The clock ticked so loudly through the room. Ed shot it a glance; he really wanted to smash it. It was so loud it was nerve racking. He had caught up on 2 classes work so far but he had several tests and quizzes to make up. The clock remained ticking loudly till it was drowned out by a car engine then 3 doors closed. Ling started gathering up the books he had spread all over the table stacking them on the floor beside him. Ed did not move at all he figured he may be able to focus on the books and ignore the ones trespassing into his newly acquired territory.

A set of keys was thrown in the ceramic dish that always held Lings keys. He normally found his car keys in there since Ling hated it when he lost them so he always picked them up and put them in the dish. The footsteps got closer he kept ignoring them. A set of keys were sat down on the textbook he was reading, they were his car keys. The key to the house was missing off of it. He was defiantly in the doghouse now. He quietly picked up the keys and walked to the dish and deposited them into the dish.

Three pizzas were set on the coffee table. The smell suddenly reminded him he had not eaten in 6 days.

"Dig in then we will talk afterwards."

Ed looked up at the voice that had sounded so familiar, but to his dismay it was just Mustang Sensei. Could his day get any worse? He snatched two slices then went into the kitchen where he inhaled them in a matter of minutes. He stood there for a few minutes gathering his composure again then entered into the room and back to the coffee table to get more work done. The room was silent except for the sound of the others eating. It became harder to focus on his homework he was starting to get nauseous. He jumped up and ran Ling was on his heels in a matter of seconds.

"You're not running away this time!" he went to grab Ed.

Ed turned the opposite way and into the bathroom. Ling watched in amazement how agile he had turned and dodged Ling.

Ling stopped at the doorway only to see his friend depositing the undigested pizza into the toilet.

"Brother?"

Ling spun around to see Al standing behind him with a worried look on his face.

"He hasn't eaten in a few days pizza probably wasn't the best choice of food for him." He fished out the scope from the medicine cabinet handing it down to Ed.

"It's been 6 days now since I ate." He took a swig of the orange liquid swishing it around in his mouth before depositing it in the porcelain bowl. "The last time I ate was Friday at lunch." He attempted to get up and found himself being helped by Ling and Al. "Al, I thought you were pissed at me?"

"I am."

They placed Ed in a black leather oversized chair across from the couch. He felt like he was going to be interrogated.

In spot number one was his number one mortal enemy, Mustang Sensei; beside him in spot number two was the 15 year old girl that they said he apparently knocked up, Winry; spot number three was the one who was now dating the 15 year old he knocked up and was his assailant that dealt the last blows to his beat up body which landed him in the hospital; his brother Al; and finally in the last spot was the sadistic best friend that liked to see him wither around in agony while assisting others in giving him a verbal beat down; Ling.

Ed looked up might as well get it over with. "Which one of you is going first?"

"Al should. Go ahead and say what's on your mind." Ling put in his two cents.

"Fine," he paused "Why did you sleep with my girlfriend?"

"At the time I did that I didn't even know her name much less anything else. How long have you two been together for?" Ed watched his brother play with his jeans.

"Five weeks."

"Ling when was your last party before this one?" Ed eyed his friend

"Hey I'm not in this!"

"Just answer." Ed was watching him think

"I'm pretty sure it was about seven weeks ago now."

"See Al she wasn't with you when I slept with her. If I would have known you wanted her I would have helped you get with her instead of me. All I want is you to be happy. Why do you think I work and keep my grades high in school? I want to make sure I set the best example possible for you since dad is never around." He had said all that forgetting that his mortal enemy was in the room.

The room fell silent, all eyes on Al now. He fidgeted with his pant wrinkles again. "Yeah you set a fine example sneaking out of the house after you think I'm in bed. You come home at four and five in the morning smelling of alcohol, cigarettes and sex. I doubt you even know the names of the people you have slept with. Why don't you go live with one of those nameless people? Now you are having a kid and Winry's parents kicked her out because of the baby. So she is now staying with me. I want you to grow up and make sure she has money for food and plenty of things the baby needs. She and I will raise the baby. I'm done looking after you I want you out of our lives."

Ed could see the tears start to well up in his brother's eyes. "I have no problem with that." The silence filled the room once more

"Winry did you have something you needed to say to Ed." Ling seemed to be the one conducting the talk.

She shook her head.

"Fine then it's my turn. Ed you disappear without telling anyone much less bother to tell us where you are going. You worried all of us the next morning when you didn't answer your phone then you call and say you can't move but will not tell us where you are at so we can help you. How stupid can you be? Next thing I know I get a call from you in the next evening to find you are sitting on my porch looking like you had rolled around in the dirt screwing a smurf; you straight up smelled like sex and dirt." Lings hand gestures enhanced the words and everyone burst out laughing.

"What it's true if you had been in the car when I took him home you would have to say the same thing. I still don't understand why in the hell you couldn't walk!" Everyone's laugh stopped.

"You couldn't walk?" Al stared at him wide eyed.

"That's why I had to carry him in Al. He could hardly crawl much less walk and be able to defend himself."

Al's jaw dropped "So that's why…" Al's voice trailed off.

"Yeah he couldn't put up a fight."Ling knew Ed was an instructor at the local Dojo

"I'm sorry; it was my fault. I got swept up in the moment during the blackout dance and ran off with someone. We screwed till the break of daylight." Ed blushed fiercely then looked down at the floor not wanting to see the reactions.

"Yeah you must have had a wild night with him."

"Him? It was a guy?" The prego blond decided to speak now.

Ed looked at Ling "How did you know it was a guy."

"Let's see I bring in a boy that had been beaten unconscious with blood coming out of almost every orifice he has, of course they want to do a rape kit to make sure nothing happened. When the doctors asked I simply told them that you enjoyed having sex with one or more individuals and didn't care what gender they were. I told them about the time with the futanari, it sucked they didn't believe me either, I know you have it recorded somewhere."

"Ling please, you're not helping me right now." Ed dared himself to look up at the ones in front of him the look he seen of Mustang Sensei's face was priceless his mouth was agape and eyes bugged open he looked as if he was going to faint.

"Well at least answer me one thing?"

Ed nodded

"Why were you coved in blue stuff?" Ling was done embarrassing him now.

"The guy I was with had it in his hair I didn't know it would come off or I wouldn't have touched his hair. Now can I ask why he's here?" He pointed to the teacher sitting on the leather couch.

"He's my Uncle and present guardian I called him just in case. Last time I broke up fight I ended with a fist to the face."

"Oh…I see then." Ed looked back to the pizza box wafting the nauseating smell his way it defiantly wasn't helping.

Al rose to his feet taking Winry with him "We're going home brother come get your car tomorrow." They made a hasty retreat.

Lings Uncle cleaned up the empty pizza boxes. "Ed would you like some soup?"

Ed was starving still. "Sure." The man turned around "Hey Mustang Sensei will you please not tell anyone else about what you have heard I don't want Al taken away and put in a foster home, she won't have a place to live after that and I don't want everyone to know about my recreational activities either."

"I've known about your dad traveling and haven't said anything yet, and you can call me Roy outside of school." With that he walked into the kitchen.

Ed started again on his homework. The clattering in the kitchen was better than hearing the clock tick away again after the noises quieted down a bowl full of chicken noodle soup was place beside him. He slowly sipped the broth from the bowl.

"Boys can I ask you a question?"

"You just did." Ed took his lips from the bowl.

"Yeah but I was curious if you two have ever been together." Roy plopped back on the couch.

Ed really felt like teasing his teacher. He drank down the rest of the soup rather quickly then replied "I've never been with anyone in Ling's family. Why you want to be the first to try me." He smirked as the Sensei turned beet red. He couldn't hold back the laughter any longer. Soon his view was obstructed by a pillow to the face.

"You asshole, Uncle don't mind him he's just an idiot, that likes to tease people into thinking he wants them."

"I see both of you have similar reactions to my teasing. I can say what I want now that we aren't in school." Ed's grin from ear to ear.

There was a pillow landed on the other side of Ed's head. He was then attacked with pillows repeatedly by both Asian men.

"Hey time out for the injured" Ed was laughing so hard he barely could take in air. The pillows kept flying for several minutes. Till Ed was coughing for air and Ling took up residency on the couch while Roy walked out to his car then back into the house.

"Come on guy's I got a movie we could watch," Roy popped the movie in as if it was an everyday thing to him.

"Hey Ed when was your last shower man?"

"Oh yeah can I get one really fast."

"Yeah you know where everything is."

He ran upstairs to take a quick shower. He finally rid himself of the leftover blue the water felt good on his stiff and sore muscles. He shut off the water when the water started running cold. He ran nude into the room that contained all his belongings, searching through all the boxes he found the one containing his boxers and sleep pants deciding on which ones to grab. He snatched Ling's brush to prepare his hair to be put in a quick braid. He went back down stairs to see the main menu of the DVD. The couch had one guy lounging on each end, so he decided to push his luck and squeeze between them. He went around the front and scouted his spot both guys were sharing the space in which their legs were. He laid himself behind Roy and in front of Ling.

"What the hell Ed?" Ling protested Ed stayed there any way he tugged the throw off the back of the couch and propped his chest on Roy's hip and his feet went in front of Ling's chest he covered himself half of Ling and half of Roy with the blanket. He made sure to gently wiggle and move till he knew he had to be causing problems for both guys. "Ed, will you lean up for a minute."

Ed thought his fun was over with but Roy just moved one of his legs to the other side of Ed. "Okay lay down now."

Ed now lay in between his Sensei's legs and found a very prominent erection stabbing him in the collarbone. It was very large and wanted attention. He couldn't help that every time he moved he rubbed against the man's length. He mean while kept his feet moving against Ling's stomach and growing erection. He enjoyed teasing his friend quite frequently even if he never did anything other than that to him. His toes gently kneaded Ling's erection till he stared to rock back against the talented foot. He stared to produce moans from Ling he started moving his chest and shoulder against his Sensei he watched the man close his eyes and moan. That was his cue. Ed quickly bounced up from between both men.

"That was a pretty good movie; well I'm going to bed. Night you two." With that he strode off up the stairs. He had crashed in all the beds in the house and found Ling's bed to be the most comfortable out of them so he always slept in Ling's bed. He also knew it would aggravate him further since Ling would refuse to sleep in the same bed as Ed. He smiled remembering Ling screaming 'I refuse to sleep in the same bed as you; you will rape me in my sleep.' He smiled as he climbed under the blanket on Ling's bed.

"I told you he was a tease." Ling looked over at his Uncle that seemed to have an even worse case than he had. "Bathroom is over there just make sure you clean up after yourself." Ling strode off upstairs' to handle his own problem.


End file.
